Hearing a judge ask you that question in family Court is not a good thing. There’s not any good answer. At best, you left your children in someone else’s care while you went to do something arrest worthy. At worst, your kids were alone while you did something arrest worthy.
Either way, unless there’s an M. Night Shyamylan twist where your co-parent turns out to be the Night Stalker, be prepared to lose custody of your kids and probably have your visitation with them monitored.
California is a famously liberal state. There are Family Code statutes, and case law supporting them, that indicate a wide variety of lifestyle factors that cannot be considered when looking at child custody and visitation. You’re free to date, to date as many people as you want, and this can’t be taken as a factor against you.
The externalities of lifestyle can. Club all you want, but if you’re using drugs? That’s something the Court will look at when deciding custody. Date who you want but if your new significant other(s) have a history of substance abuse, domestic violence or are sex offenders? The Court will give you a choice between that individual and your kids. Have some beers with friends? If you pick up a DUI, all of a sudden the allegations that you’ve got a substance abuse problem start looking more credible.
When your relationship ends, whether it was a marriage or not, it feels like freedom to do whatever you want. But if you have kids, remember that the consequences of that freedom will impact on how much you can be in their lives.